Desperatley Seeking .... Piece of Mind

No really. The past three years have thrown me for many a loop. Medically I am facing a less than idealic future. It is not lost on me that I have actually lost family members to illnesses... I am more than grateful that I have not been diagnosed with something as ugly cancer. My head gets it... but my me and my heart are frightened. I had a ischemic clot stroke Dec 2008. I regained usage of my right side in under 4 days and with that and a little physical therapy - I was dismissed. No one could even tell me why someone then 40 would've had a clot stroke. 3 years and 2 months later, I am now seeing my 3rd (and final) primary care (an internal med specialist), my 2nd hematologist, and my 2nd rheumatologist. And only now have I been given a reason for my stroke. Amazing isn't? Sad, because I've forfeited 3 years of my life. Even now, I am treated as though I should already know what all I've been diagnosed with should and will in-tale! I have only begun to scratch the surface and I am afraid.

I debated even coming back to resurrect my pitiful little blog, especially since I lost my last blog when Eblogger did something back a while ago...  Yet, here I sit. Typing my life to no one in particular. Funny huh?

I have been told I have a rare and serious blood disorder - Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome (APS). All I know of this syndrome is I have clotting issues. But, I also have Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura - not enough platelets to clot! Ha, go fig-er! Yes, you can have both as the clotting and platelet functions are very separate functions, so I've been told. I have also been diagnosed with Sjögren's Syndrome.  Here's where I lately had my hat handed to me. I had been mistakenly diagnosed with Lupus almost 2 years ago. Yeah, I know..... But have been recently told it's not Lupus. I was told I have Sjögren's, I was relieved - even slightly happy to have been told it wasn't Lupus. See, I knew a little about Lupus. I knew enough to know it's dangerous and deadly. All I was told about Sjögren's was that my body would attack the moisture making membranes inside. That was it. HA  Now, in the past week, I've met 2 people with Sjögren's. Lemme tell 'ya. It's been enough to scare me.